Happy 11th Anniversary

Saturday, 25 August 2007

• Happy 11th ANNIVERSARY, David...

  August 24, 2007 was our 11th wedding anniversary! It's amazing how quickly time flies. You know, David is really a great husband. He is definitely patient with me and just loves me for me. That sounds so cliche but it's so true.
  When I reflect back to when I first met him 14 years ago at Washington DC small group (one of the small groups from Bethel Church in Ellicott City, Md) , I see how David is truly the same person back then and now. His kind-heart, wanting to do things for others, being a great great listener have not changed. He has gotten funnier and even wittier after GSB. I guess Stanford Business School brought out the funny sarcasms out of him too. I like that! It's makes me so proud to see his love and genuine patience towards Emily. There are many times that I lose patience with Emily; but David always has a sense of calmness over him. And the same goes for my parents too. I tend to lose my patience alot with them; but David? He will listen to my dad, especially, and try to follow-through to his request. Sometimes those requests seem so ridiculous, but David never snaps at them or at me. He'll just say, ok and try to find an answer to his question. What son-in-law does that?
  
  David is such a great guy. I remember a conversation in my Columbia apartment with 2 of my friends back at Bethel (Mi-Young Chang and Lisa Kim). When David and I were at the beginning part of our dating time, I asked both of my friends if David is a good guy to hold onto (since even at Bethel there were some "not so good guys" hahaha....i'm serious!). Both Mi=Young and Lisa (Helen Chae's sister) said that if they were younger they would have gone after David. I remember Lisa saying that David is a smart guy and a good guy. He's not a good guy + loser; he is a smart guy, will be very successful, and just solid with what he wants in life. After that conversation, I really decided to make a commitment and have him get to know the real me. I didn't feel like I had to hide anything or protect myself of getting hurt. That was a conversation 14 - 15 years ago!!!! And wow! David is a very solid guy. He knows what he wants; he seeks it out. Very balanced person. And I just love that about him. Makes me giddy which is the best medicine for me!
  
  God has definitely given this impatient, stressed-out, shopaholic, Dunkin-Donuts, Peets coffee-loving, wanting to do everything for my family ME the most patient, gentle spirit husband and father to Emily. And I need to remind myself to thank GOD for introducing me to David and to thank David for his unconditional love towards me.
  
  So we get this puppy LOUIE from St Louis. You know my history and puppies, right? Here is me, the girl who cannot handle stress or anything out of my comfort zone. I am about to throw in the towel because this puppy is forcing me to make changes in my life and in my schedule. Of course, I agreed to getting the puppy because the idea of having a forever memory of St Louis. Afterall, just look at what Emily endured and how much her life improved after the SDR surgery @ St Louis Children's hospital. Louie is a good puppy, but a puppy is a puppy. And with a puppy comes responsbility and a change in one's schedule.
  
  Maybe God is trying to teach me at this stage in my life to handle new changes and endure it. My mom said I don't like this change because now I cannot go shopping as much while Emily is in school or at a playdate. I am forced to change my schedule to be at home for Louie's sake. And she read all that by my facial expression.
  
  When I see how much I don't like major changes that cramps into my schedule, I am reminded by my past and how often I ran away from my responsibility when a "responsiblity" cramped into my personal schedule. Those reponsibilities were jobs which I happily said, "I quit" to go visit my friends in Boston, Virginia, Michigan, or locally. Then when I felt the need to be "responsible", I would go and find another (often a better job). And then go through this cycle again and again.
  
  I think the biggest responsiblity I had to endure was being a mom. It's amazing at how a mother's love for a child is so so different. I took the opposite tactic to "responsibility" and would not run away from it; rather I wanted to search the ends of the earth to find a better life/ a solution = surgery, medicine, trusting physician, resource, to help Emily have a better and a normal life... Kudos for Esther!!!
  
  Getting back to my loving hubby....David knew me when I was irresponsible, trendy dresser, a social girl at Bethel Church. But I think through all that exterior stuff, he must have seen the other side of me - the more introverted, willingness to do what i can for others, and enjoy quiet lifestyle.
  
  So when there is some chaos in my life, I want to do what I am good at --- run away from the responsibility. But I guess God is putting his FEET down and saying that this time with a puppy, he will not let me run away from this responsibility. I have David who reminds me that this puppy stage is just temporary and that he is going to do alot of the work. I have Emily who thanks God everyday for bringing Louie into my family during meal and bedtime prayer . And Louie who is from St Louis...whom David drove 2 hours from St Louis into the country to pick up this puppy; puppy we brought onto the airplane; because of the puppy we switched from the convenient hotel to another hotel near St Louis Children's hospital that accepted pets. Lot of time and money spent for Louie...
  
  I'm 38 years old. I'm a wife and a mom. I should be responsible and not throw tantrums over chaos. But I am throwing inner tantrums which is showing through my bodily and facial expressions. Mom said I should be praying and asking God for peace of mind. Louie is our family pet. And I need to embrace this puppy because David and Emily are embracing him...
  
  Wow! I can't believe that I can be so cold-hearted. That is so ugly and something I hope to change...yuck! God, will you help me???
  
  Time to take Louie out for potty......hasta!